Love at first sight looks good on paper and on the big screen but it is a terrible idea for real life. People are bombarded with stories in which the guy falls for the girl, the first time he sees her. Immediately, the guy will start dancing and the girl will have flowers falling on her make-up packed face.
Enough of that garbage!
Love and physical attraction:-
Physical attraction is in our design. We were designed to be physically attracted to the opposite sex, it is part of the process by which we get married to someone. But you don’t let yourself be physically attracted to everyone who looks cute to you, that will corrupt your heart.
God gave us the gift of self control, by which we can control our attraction towards the opposite sex and direct it to one person. (Yes, self control is a gift and you have it)
Physical attraction is a bad guide:-
With that being said, physical attraction shouldn’t be your guide to choose someone. There is more to life than what meets the eye on your first meeting. There is the spiritual part- that person’s relationship with God(which can’t be cracked on your first meeting). Then there is the relational part or character part- where you get to know how they treat people and what are their flaws(which can’t be cracked on your first meeting either). Then there is the purpose part- where you need to know what that person is called by God to do in life(which can’t be cracked in your first meeting too).
Shhh…Secret…Some people when you see them for the first time, you will think they love God and are serving God passionately but time will tell you otherwise because the world is filled with Oscar winning actors. There are more Cheaters in your Church, workplace, college and social media profiles than you think!
The only thing that you can clearly see on your first meeting is the person’s physical side, every other side is concealed. Choosing your life partner based on just their physical side works well for novels and movies but will be a terrible idea for real life.
Love is not physical attraction:-
The World has been brainwashed with lies about Love. We have been taught that red lips and cool hair and kisses are the marks of Love. Sex before marriage is not fornication anymore, it is called “love making” and it has become so casual. The Truth about Love, Sex and Marriage established by God has not changed and will not change.
Mostly everyone who says “I Love you” has zero idea about Love. Love is patient and kind before it is anything else. Yes, romantic Love has physical attraction as an element but every form of Love(Romantic or Friendship or whatever) should have it’s foundation on 1 Corinthians 13(Read it everyday). Finding the right one doesn’t happen like magic. It takes God, Godly people, wisdom and time to find the right person for your life and destiny.
Love is a choice:-
Taking all the definitions of Love in 1 Corinthians 13, you can come to the conclusion that Love is a choice. Love has feelings but Love is not a feeling as most people believe. It is a choice to stand by and walk with no matter what. As Love is a choice, it should be an act of your will and not a flow of your emotions on seeing someone. Emotions rush through, but your will thinks through before making a move.
To be blunt, Love looks like Jesus. Love looks like the cross. Love looks like our Bleeding Savior.
Choosing your life partner should be a thought through decision and not a decision you make over some “out of place” hormones and hyper emotions. Love at first sight may feel good at first sight but there is no guarantee that it will feel good at your 100th sight. You need the wisdom of God to choose the right person.
You read a dozen reviews before buying a smartphone you will dump after 2 years but you will choose someone you just met? Height of Stupidity!
What the Movie Frozen can teach us about Love?
The animated movie “Frozen” was way off the traditional view of love in movies and cartoons. The hero sees the heroine, they fall in love and sing songs together- has been the norm. But this movie takes a shocking turn.
You have two sisters Elsa and Anna. Elsa has super powers that leads her to be separate from everyone, including her sister. When Elsa has to take over as queen, she comes on the out and the palace is open to everyone. Anna is excited about all the fun and celebration. She meets her “Dream guy”, that’s what she thinks. Fast forward to the end, you find out that her “Dream guy” is the antagonist of the story. A slap to the face of “Love on first sight” idea.
The True Love in the story was between the sisters. And the “Dream guy” was a cheat.
The movie also had a lot more to say about Real Love. Like the song sung by the Trolls:-
“We’re only saying that love’s a force that’s powerful and strange.
People make bad choices if they’re mad, or scared, or stressed.
Throw a little love their way and you’ll bring out their best.
True love brings out their best!”
A conversation between Anna and Olaf hits the bulls-eye of Love,
“I don’t even know what love is,” she admits to Olaf.
“Well, I do,” he says. “It’s putting someone else’s needs before yours.”
What’s the Verdict?
Love at first sight is not real. Falling for someone before you know someone is stupidity on steroids. Don’t get hooked into this age-old lie. Find the right person. Take your time, get to know someone before you make a commitment. Seek God’s wisdom to see beyond what you can see. There is more to Love than looks and it takes time to crack the layers of a person.
What are your thoughts on Love at first sight? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.
Suggested resource for a Beautiful Marriage:-
Keep Your Love On!: Connection, Communication & Boundaries
Note:- Danny silk’s KYLO is a masterpiece. It is one of the best manuals out there to build a beautiful marriage. It will be a great investment for your marriage and it will make a great gift to someone you care. I’m looking forward to write mine soon :P.