Are you okay being second?

Love is an art. If you want to master it, you must know what Love is and what Love is not first. Everyday millions and millions of people say “I Love you” without possessing the right understanding of Love. Let me toss you one nugget for now.

Love is not jealous:

Love is not jealous and jealousy is not Love. If you have jealousy in your heart based on the one you love, you are not walking in Love. If you can’t take the second place in someone’s heart, you are operating under jealousy and not Love. It’s easy to be on the 100th place in someone’s heart but being second or third and looking at the one who is first is hard.

Jealousy will fight for a better position or leave to find someone who will give a better position. On the other hand, Love will accept the position given and will focus on loving the other person. If you didn’t know, let me enlighten you. You can’t control someone else’s heart; you can’t manage someone else’s priorities and desires. The only person you can control is you, if you try to control someone to like you more or love you more, you will end up damaging everything. Okay wait, I don’t want to miss the target. Are you okay being second? Are you okay being second in your Momma or Dadda’s heart? Are you okay being second in your child’s heart? Are you okay being third or fourth in your Pastor’s fav list? What more…Can you love your life partner madly without seeking positions and special privileges? Love just seeks the opportunity to Love, it doesn’t care about positions. Love says- “You can put me on second or third place but I will love you with all of my heart because Love is not jealous, Love is not selfish. You have the freedom to Love someone more than me”.

“Love is not jealous”. 1 Corinthians 13:4

The Prodigal son’s elder brother:

The prodigal son is a well known story of Jesus. The Church has focused so much on the prodigal son who got transformed and has missed giving thought to the elder brother who had some deep issues. The funny thing is that the story ends with the prodigal son getting transformed and the elder brother standing outside the house fighting with his Loving Father. Jesus ends the story there to tell us that jealousy and comparing yourself to others is dangerous.

The Father loved both his sons but the elder one got hurt when the Father gave a grand reception to his runaway brother. He was hurt that his brother got the leg piece. That tiny little hurt, that makes us fight with our loved ones, is jealousy and it is deadly. The Father has the freedom to love his runaway son with greater intensity, no questions and no arguments. The elder brother brought comparison in the game, let jealousy inside his heart and ended up fighting with his Father. That’s all folks, the story ends. The story ends with the jealous guy being hurt and angry.

“Love does not hurt, Jealousy hurts”

If you are into comparing and fighting-“You gave him that and didn’t give me that”, “You replied to her immediately, you didn’t send me a reply”, “You love him more than me”, you will find yourself losing the ones you love because jealousy and comparison always separates. If the elder brother really loved his father and brother, he would have been focused on helping his father love his runaway brother. If he walked in Love, He would be okay being second. If He really valued his father than himself, He would not have worried about his brother getting more love. Are you okay and happy being second? Will you be happy, if someone else gets more love and attention than you?

God is not a communist:

God doesn’t work in a way that there is no space for being jealous. He is not a communist, He favors one more than the other, and He chooses one over the other. He is the designer of life and He didn’t design it in a way that you always get the best piece. Jesus chose the 12 from the crowd; He didn’t worry about the crowd getting jealous. He chose 3 out of the 12 and took them for a mountain top encounter. He said to the 9-“Guys, I’m taking Peter, John and James for an encounter with the Father. You guys stay here, you can’t come”. That tells us something. If you are not okay being second or third or fourth, you can’t walk with Jesus. Jesus didn’t act in a way that there was no room for comparison. He expected His disciples to guard their hearts from comparison and jealousy.

Your heart is your responsibility. God or life is not going to treat you like a new born. You need to grow up and resist jealousy. You must keep your heart fixed on Love that jealousy doesn’t have a place to sit. Jealousy is evil; it will keep you from your destiny and destroy your relationships. Jealousy will lead you to get hurt with God. The cure to jealousy is Love, as defined by the Bible. Love that is not jealous, Love that is okay being second, Love that doesn’t compare and is focused on serving others. To pull this off well, you need to understand that God is crazy about you and loves you deeply. Be secure in His Love for you and love others well. Are you okay being second?…Selah…

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